Poll Question 341 – Would you go on a Half-Life themed cruise?

7th April 2016

Just a sill question this time, but after reading a BBC article called Whatever floats your boat – the unstoppable growth of themed cruises and how the band KISS hires a whole cruise ship once a year, I thought Heck, why not Half-Life?

The topic itself isn’t exactly new, in fact I suggested something similar an article called Ten-Year Anniversary Half-Life Convention (2007) and even Poll Question 244 asked If there was a ValveCon within 6 hours travel of you, would you go? (2011).

Let’s Have Some Fun

So besides the basic question, I want you all to suggest fun activities the passengers could all get up to. Keep it clean and family friendly. I’ll post some ideas as comments too.

Time to vote

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  1. Zekiran

    I would absolutely go on a trip like that.

    Activities? Of course we have activities!

    Crowbar Bashing – everyone gets a crowbar and a series of boxes, and the one who bashes the most, wins…. and probably gets a massage because that takes effort.

    Antlion Squishing – hidden around the halls of the ship are glowsticks, shake and break, glow, and the highest ‘health’ wins 😀

    Costume contest, of course.

    Gman Hide And Seek. Self-explanatory.

    Kite making and flying. Kites? Really? Yes! Because they’d be in the shapes of helicopters, Combine dropships, and Manhacks!

  2. I want to get on a Combine styled cruise ship, and get the full citizen experience, stuck wearing the uniform, ration packets (with real food) and constant overwatch by people in metrocop costumes. And a few days or a week into the cruise, you get to enter a fake resistance and towards the end of the cruise, do a uprising where you take the cruise, using laser tag guns and vests for combat.

    That would be a experience I’d pay to have.

    1. Mr.Walrus

      Sign me up, this sounds amazing.

      However, I think it needs an ending section where you find out some idiot took a crowbar to the generators, destabilizing the ship’s reactor core. The passengers must flee on lifeboats before the explosion destroys all of Cruise 17.

    2. Holy… this made me want to rent a ship right now.

    3. JamaicanDave

      This reminds me a little of secret cinema, but longer.

  3. I only chose the second option because it said “but only if Phillip was there”

  4. Obviously crate smashing would be key; real wooden crates and a real steel crowbar! But padded HEV suits and safety glasses would be required for health and safety…

    Cosplay would be somewhat fun, but some of us would not flatter the HEV! Rubber fetishists would love the Metrocops and there would always be those who dress as antlions!

    Food could be supplied ration station style around the ship, which could be dressed Half Life 2 style but with less blood!

    Remote drone Manhack shooting for the adults up on deck. Laser and pellet shots for safety reasons. excepting the American cruises where they use their personal smgs and rpgs!

    Crab will be on the menu along with the novelty headcrab on your head as you eat, not compulsory but recommended!

    There will be a full hazard course for the more agile and after signing of the waver you will be given your HEV. Helmets are advised but purists will be allowed just the safety glasses and goatee beard, unless you have your own.

    On stage the musical (for the kids and young at heart) will be followed by the more visceral game scene reenactments performed by the staff and passengers, where over and under acting will be expected!
    There will be a warning before each performance that Gordon Freeman speaks and sings (musical) so that devout purists may leave or plug their ears!

    There will be a heavily stocked gift selection from Valve along with copies of the eagerly awaited and soon to be released Half Life 4. Episode 5, the one where Gordon and Alyx’s kids are in trouble!
    Note. All more alluring Alyx models will be available to purchase from the store before leaving the ship or from the adult section of the web site, but cannot be displayed openly on a family cruise.

    All children under the age of ten years will receive a complementary foam headcrab and novelty foam crowbar and a faux HEV in three sizes. Custom sizes are classed as extras and will require a fee and prior notification.

    “We hope you enjoy your stay on the good ship Borealis. We aim to supply two weeks of Half Life fun and adventure for all family members and leave you with memories to treasure. Tell your friends they too can have fun!”

  5. YES. YES, YES, YES.

    6 hours? I don’t care about how much time will it take, I would just go there.

  6. So far, my favourite of Zekiran’s ideas are Antlion Squishing, G-Man Hide and Seek (would probably be my favourite cuz I am obsessed with anything related to him) and the Manhack/Dropship-Kite thing (because it’d add to the fun atmosphere of the place).

    Bastion’s idea would probably be the one I’d go for. I absolutely love roleplaying, so I’d definitely take it wherever it was – on a cruise or some specially reserved apartment block. I think it’d be amazing to roleplay HL2 over the course of a week, and immerse yourself in everything (from accomodation to food, to the harsh (but not too much) Combine treatment). This sounds a lot like one of those closed-room quests that you have popping up in big cities nowadays (I have visited a few already), but something this major, like a full week of this stuff, would be awesome.

  7. Zekiran

    Rikersbeard said, “some people dressed as antlions” – Now I want to see some of those ‘puppetry/riding’ people make antlions or Guardians! (You know, the stilt-legged things with tension bars and animated mouth/arm movement?) That would be so awesome. If I had any talent, money, or space (or the ability to use stilts) (or design this stuff from the ground up) I’d make something like that for comic cons.

    1. How about puppeted Striders, not full scale but half or a third scale if the wind cooperates?
      Prizes awarded to ‘sticky-bomb’ throwers. ooooooooooooooh laaaaaaaaaaa!

      Oh I heard that there will be free family tickets included in the first hundred copies of Valves metal-jacketed Half Life 3 release…

      1. Zekiran

        LOL now I want to make one of those standup targets for beanbag throwing…

  8. Not a chance I would go on a Cruise with other nerds. Don’t get me wrong – I’m a nerd myself but the idea of being trapped on a boat with no option to get off..with a likely bad female to male ratio is not my idea of fun… especially on a boat where where would be non nerds there who just wouldn’t get things… who would sit there around one of the swimming pools and judge me while I walked around half naked, with a headcrab hat on with a crowbar hitting things for ammo, such as their children.

    However.. Those GeForce LAN has the right idea a few years ago…

    For those who don’t know – The GeForce LAN was held on an old US Aircraft carrier the USS Hornet. Look up some YouTube videos on the event..

    That looked amazing (was amazing for the lucky people attending) – and you could rent cabins for the weekend.. had loads of aircraft on the flight deck you could check out, mess/restaurants and decent main Hall for gaming and could explore the ship.

    To me… that would be an epic Half-Life ‘cruise’ – a long weekend on the USS Hornet.. bar..food.. cabins… LANS.. getting to walk around/living in an aircraft carrier. Detached from normal ‘civilians’ so we can do our own thing. The fun that could be had… F*ck yeah!!!

    With a bit of effort the ship could be themed as the Borealis.. with a ‘treasure’ hunt as people explore the ship… to find easter eggs and Dr. Mossman’s corpse (I call first dibs)

    Let’s make this happen!

    1. How about a lot of computers with half life 2 and half life installed?

  9. Hec

    Absolutely, also would be great the ship would call it the “S.S BOREALIS” 🙂

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