Poll Question 013 – Who would you invite to dinner?

12th January 2007

Single Player First Person Shooter Maps and Mods for Half Life 1, 2 and 3

It’s Friday evening and you receive a phone call from your friend telling you that “Unfortunately they are unable to attend you dinner party tonight. They are terribly sorry to let you down at such short notice. What now! Who can you call? Luckily you live quite near City 17 and you address book is brimming with possible replacements. Allow me to help you select.

Single Player First Person Shooter Maps and Mods for Half Life 1, 2 and 3
Dr. Gordon Freeman

Now here is an interesting character. Certainly would have some interesting stories to tell, that is if you could actually get him to say anything! Better make sure you have a gun-check at the door because he seems a little trigger happy to me. Don’t forget that orange suit of his is a little-over the top, probably make the other guest feel a little under-dressed.

Single Player First Person Shooter Maps and Mods for Half Life 1, 2 and 3
Barney Calhoun

He seems like a nice person. Always offering to buy people beers etc. Not sure he is interesting enough, I get the impression is was thrust into the spotlight more through circumstance than merit. Anyway, you never know which side he is on. I heard he likes to dress up as a Metro Policemen. What next? A Combine solider? Make a note to call he before you next fancy dress party.

Single Player First Person Shooter Maps and Mods for Half Life 1, 2 and 3
Alyx Vance

What a beautiful and intelligent young women Alyx has turned into but she has still got that Tom-boy dress-sense. Nothing really wrong with inviting Alyx except that there are probably too many ladies already. If you do choose here don’t forget to tell her not to bring that damn “Dog” of hers. I’m still trying to fill the hole in my garden it dug last year.

Single Player First Person Shooter Maps and Mods for Half Life 1, 2 and 3

Seems a little rude to address him as Gman but does anybody know his real name? I get the feeling he would be an engaging dinner guest but his mannerisms are a little aloof. Let’s just hope that if you invite him he doesn’t go on and on about arbitrary impositions and the like!

Single Player First Person Shooter Maps and Mods for Half Life 1, 2 and 3
Dr. Wallace Breen

A seemingly perfect gentlemen, refined, sophisticated and an excellent taste in wine. For some reason there’s always a chill in the room when he is around. His colleagues don’t seem to like him very much but then again they won’t be here tonight.


  1. This post is not as witty or clever as I was hoping it would be but that’s what happens when you don’t have much time!

    Let’s hope that readers don’t choose Alyx simply because she is a women.

  2. Let’s see… I’m not sure which one to choose…

    With Gordon Freeman, assuming, as you said, I could get him to talk, there would be some pretty interesting stories told. However, he could have a sterotypical geeky scientist voice, ruining the image of the coolest scientist on the planet.

    Barney does seem to be an all-round good guy, always offering beers and providing comedy relief and whatnot. The trouble is, his Metrocop “friends” might decide to join him. Being beaten to a pulp and then turned into a stalker doesn’t appeal to me.

    Alyx would be a good person to have — pretty chatty, so no lulls in conversation, but she would probably rather spend time fighting the Combine.

    The Gman seems like a suave guy, but that could just be his suit. I’d invite him almost solely to the fact that he’s creepily cool. On the other hand, he might decide to recruit me for inter-temporal missions.

    Wallace Breen
    Pros: Um… nice suit?
    Cons: Do I really need to say?

    Forced to choose, I’d say… Dr. Freeman. I’ve always wanted to meet Gordon Freeman in the flessshhh, or rather, in the Hazard Suit.

  3. zeroth404

    I’d ESPECIALLY not invite Alyx because she talks to damn much. G-Man might be insightful, but the way he riddles everything just makes his point hard to find. Wallace? He’d be stealling silverware and bread rolls. Gordon wouldn’t be any fun because he’d never say anything, so, my choice is:

    Barney. he’s down-to-earth, will talk to ya, and even has a sense of humor.

  4. I’d go with Barney but if he’s busy then Alyx since ya know there are ways to shut a woman up 😉

  5. Darth Marsden

    What an… interesting question.

    I’d probably go with Alyx, because she’s so damned nice and friendly. I challenge anyone not to like her. Barney would be a good second (if Alyx was washing her hair or had a headache), with Breen in third for sheer comedic value.

  6. Who would I call? Ghostbusters, obviously.

    First off, I wouldn’t call Gordon Freeman, since he obviously can’t talk. Barney has the best chance since he is, well, awesome. Alyx, being a woman, wouldn’t get a call as I cannot speak to people of the female gender. G-Man has a good chance, being the wierd overseer person that everyone loves so much. Breen would be the default third, since no-one likes him.

  7. I would choose barney because I reckon his character is the sort to have the good sense of humour that I share, and is always full of querky comments. But as for the beer he always offers, I prefer wine XD!

  8. Barney. He’s funny, always willing to drink. I’ve always had a thing for uniforms, so if he brings his combine friends, we can all get drunk enough for me to think it’s a live Chippendale’s show. Would be funny to see them all drunk & naked, dancing on my table top.

  9. BTW, what a coincidental question that is as I’m getting ready to have one of those in about 2 hrs!

  10. David

    Barney hands down. He seems like the kind of guy anyone can identify with. Not to mention his sense of humor could keep the party going.

    No dice with Alyx though. Its obvious she’s in love with Freeman so there’s no chance to get drunk and hit on her (well, with enough liquid courage in me I probably would hit on her…).

  11. fragmaster

    well gordon freeman would be a good setpiece if he doesnt drone along about the physics of the universe & of course the suit would set off a city block of alarms not to mention his previous job as a cart pusher.

    Barney well hes gunhappy good for bbq shattergun blastin partys altho hes like one of the blues brothers & never changes his clothes all work & no play

    Alyx would rock the party anyone wonder how fast & how much gun ammo she carries around cause shes faster than Duke on a Forever streak

    Gman & Breen is Like Abbot & That other Dude but not quite as funny

    Dr Cliners Headcrab Lamar a feel good pet always sticking to some1 special but has a despotion on safe sex

  12. Well, early indications suggest that Barney is going to win this one. As I mentioned in the main post I wonder if this is because you dislike the others more.

    I decided to leave out other characters because I didn’t want a long list. The two main scientists (Kliener and Vance) probably wouldn’t have gotten too many votes anyway.

    Maybe the Rebel leader but who remembers his name? (It’s Colonel Odessa Cubbage, if anybody is interested!)

    Other’s I considered: Dr. Judith Mossman, Father Grigori, the old man on the beach from Lost Coast and a Vortigaunt!

  13. Interesting poll….

    Father Grigori!! He’d be #1 on my invite list.

    OK he’s not one of the choices, so I chose Dr. Breen. Could carry an intelligent dinner conversation with him, and besides I’d need help picking the wine.

  14. If you had just Eli Vance and Isaac Kleiner for choices, I think I would pick Vance, since he’s just so damn friendly!

    Kleiner could provide some comic relief, what with his absent-mindedness and all, not to forget his little catchphrase, “Oh, fie…”

    What is “fie’, anyway? Is Kleiner stopping himself from saying a much worse word, or is it a lingo he wants to spread?

  15. I’d invite a vortigaunt. Barbequed Headcrab-On-A-Stick, baby.

  16. Why does it keep calling my anomymous and whoring out Combine Destiny when i’m telling it not to…

  17. Dump your temporary internet files and especially the cookies

  18. I’ve manually added you name.

  19. Make a note to call me before your next fancy dress party.

    Phillip, do the English really say that? That is so cute!

  20. “Fancy” is a popular English word yes.As is “bird”

  21. “Fancy” is a popular English word yes.As is “bird”

    So, what exactly is a fancy dress party? … and what the hell do you mean by “bird”? *confused*

  22. suit and tie or tuxedo type things.And a bird is a chick,broad,lady,female or what ever the term is these days

  23. BTW, what a coincidental question that is as I’m getting ready to have one of those in about 2 hrs!

    Maybe I happened to walk past your house and saw you preparing and got the idea from you!

    So, what exactly is a fancy dress party?

    This is a party where guests wear different costumes; Gladiator, Gorilla, Nurse etc. And on a serious note, somebody should licence the design of GF’s hazard suit, the MEtro Police, The Combine (Especially the Elite) and the citizens. They would make great costumes.

    Here in Spain in February we have something called “Carnival” (Same as in Brazil etc) and nearly all the children and many adults wear “Fancy Dress” for a couple of days, usually Sunday. It’s so cool to be walking down the streets and around the corner come two 1930’s gangsters!

    “Bird” is a derogatory word. I suppose similar to “Shiela” in Australia.

    1. Anon_227978

      The Spanish word for “Fancy dress Party” is “Carnaval”

  24. A sheila is same as I described above for bird but fancy dress has many meanings in proper English yes?Like tuxedo etc?(Maybe I lived in the wrong place in England?).Anyway the carvival thing your speaking of is called “Mardi Gras” here.


    sheila(h) – 1. young woman; girl; girlfriend. 2. a man who is weak, effeminate, lacking in bravado.

    bird – It is a reference to the “birds and the bees” which is what you tell your children when they ask about sex.
    side note quotes

    “because they rabbit on like parrots…never shut up talking..yap.yap.yap.bloody yap….”
    “The word “bird” is a derivation of the middle-English word byrd which meant maiden (i.e. a virgin). So calling a woman or girl a bird is in fact a compliment ”
    “We put you on such high pedestals you need wings to reach them.”
    “I think men call us birds because as we get older our bodies go south for the winter …sadly mine never came back….”

  25. *looking around for a pedestal & not seeing one* hmph.

    You guys are hilarious. I guess in the states, we don’t call it fancy dress parties (although I really like the sound of that). We just call them costume parties. Usually (unless you’re just a lot of fun or ecentric), most people only do it on Halloween (shameful, I know). I’ve been to Mardi Gras & Carnival in Brazil so I rather like that kind of thing. The “bird” reference was totally beyond me as I’ve never really heard that before other than someone saying “she’s a tough old bird” or the likes. Maybe you guys are just a lot older than me. 😉 jk. Although, now Phillip has me wondering what “Sheila” means in Australia. My sister-in-law’s name is Sheila & if there were any adjectives to describe her, they would all be derogatory.

  26. Maybe I happened to walk past your house and saw you preparing and got the idea from you!

    Well, then by all means, you should have rung the bell as I’m sure it would have been more fun & interesting than what it was!

    And on a serious note, somebody should licence the design of GF’s hazard suit, the MEtro Police, The Combine (Especially the Elite) and the citizens. They would make great costumes.

    I was actually thinking about that when I read your poll question. Who could we contact about that. Oh, who am I kidding? They would never sell the copyrights & licenses for that. That would be an awesome idea though. Maybe we can have one of our own. I’m pretty nifty at making costumes.

  27. A halloween theme mod?

  28. No, a Half Life fancy dress party. Just a wild thought. Would be nifty to party with all you gents (as long as you all minded your manners … maybe with the exception of you andyb);) I would have lots of Coors Light for you, my dear.

  29. No more off-topic comments on this post please.
    Use the forum if you wish to continue the “Fancy Dress Party”, Carnival or “Bird” discussion:

  30. Alyx has overtaken poor old Barney.

  31. I would invite Alyx. Not JUST because she’s a woman, but mainly because she seems to have the most intelligence while still being interesting.

    Breen is a pompous asshole. Gman uses people. Gordon doesn’t talk at all.

    Barney would be my second choice if Alyx couldn’t make it. He’s down to earth, but in someways almost too down to earth for my tastes.

  32. Chris

    If I can get him to talk
    If not…. meh any of them will do

  33. Alyx hands down… She’s brainy and dangerous.. I love women like that.. Even in real life I date capable educated women. My current has two degrees,Criminal Law, MBA, and she’s a back belt.
    The last three women in my life were a:
    Another Black belt
    professional kick boxer
    and a special ops (retired)

    The one I have now I’m keeping..She is quite a bit like Alex..

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